I’m sorry, ma.
Posted on : 24-05-2010 | By : Justin Dade | In : Chapter 10, The Tale
Tags: Chapter 10
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How the fuck could I have been so stupid! Everything would’ve been ruined! There was sure to be video cameras in that place, and taking that sap home would have certainly exposed me. Think, Justin! Think before you act!
An idiotic stunt like that could have ruined things with Jasmine. There would be no understanding of insolence.
Keep it together, Justin!
The Accord sped on the nearly deserted eastbound side of Sunrise Highway. Anger at myself over the almost murder of the queer Stephen rained upon me in a torrential downpour. I was unsuccessfully willing myself to calm down, unable to use discipline to settle the abrupt rage. Flashing headlights from the westbound lanes acted as the conduit to control that I desperately sought. A speed trap must lie ahead.
Easing off the throttle, the Accord slowed casually to the posted speed limit of fifty-five. Sure enough, a patrol car was perched upon the median, shooting its radar at the approaching cars. I drove by the identifiable nuisance, regaining a little speed after the threat was safely overtaken. My erratic temper was proving to be a nuisance in itself. I needed to get home.
Pulling into the driveway of my house provided me with the first splash of comfort I felt since leaving the sex shop. Gripping the discreet packaging of my purchase, I hurried to the safe confines of the house. Once inside, the bulky bag was discarded onto the sofa and the bottle of remaining wine was instantly palmed. Uncorking it, I drained the remainder of the ninety-six Cabernet by Kendall-Jackson. The robust fluid calmed my edgy nerves.
Shuffling to the love seat, I sat down emitting a lung-clearing sigh. Placing interlocked hands upon the crown of my head, and stretching tense legs outward, opened breathing passages for better consumption of oxygen. The desirable temptation, whose flaws were numerous, left an atmosphere of unease about my body.
The ringing phone distracted further thought. I got up to answer it.
“Hello.”
“Hey, honey.”
“Hi, ma.”
“How are you doing?”
“Alright, considering.”
“Have you written a eulogy?”
“I was just going to make it up as I go.”
“You’ll do fine.”
“I hope so.”
“You sound funny.”
“Had a little wine.”
“Justin . . . “
“I’m alright, ma. Just a little something to help me sleep tonight. I don’t want tomorrow to come.”
“That’s understandable. I could use a little wine myself. Would you like for me to come over and spend the night?”
Not with the possibility of Jasmine coming.
“No, thanks. I’ll pick you up bright and early tomorrow morning.”
“The services will be in the rectory.”
“Because of regular mass?”
“Yes. It will do just fine.”
“I trust that it will.”
“Justin?”
“Yeah, ma?”
“I’ll be there by your side through the whole thing.”
“Thanks, ma. I’ll need you.”
“I know, baby. Are you going to the crematorium afterwards?”
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah. Making it through the mass will be tough enough. I couldn’t endure more.”
“Okay, honey. Would you mind if I went with Fred and Wanda?”
“No, you go ahead. I’ll meet you at the reception.”
“We are going to have it here.”
“I thought it was suppose to be at Fred and Wanda’s house?”
“There is something’s wrong with their plumbing.”
“I need to notify the people from work about the change.”
“I took care of that. I got Edmunds number from the weekend crew at your job, and he is going to pass the word around. He seems like a nice guy.”
“The best.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Thanks, ma. You’ve really pulled through for me.”
“Did you expect anything less?”
“Not from you, ma.”
“Honey?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t spend all night thinking about tomorrow. Having to say good-bye to your wife and daughter is a horrible thing for anyone to have to do. I know how much you loved them both. Sometimes . . . life can be so cruel, taking our loved ones away, leaving us to feel all alone in this world. You are not alone, Justin! You have me, and so many others who care so very much for you.”
“I know, ma.”
“Remember them for the happiness they gave you. That’s the way they would want it.”
“I will.”
“If you need to talk tonight, I’ll be here. No matter what hour it is, call me Justin.”
“Thanks, ma.”
“I love you, honey.”
“I love you, ma.”
“Until tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“Goodnight, honey.”
“Goodnight, ma.”
I wanted to cry, releasing the tsunami of emotion that powered inside, but not a single tear would come.
I’m sorry, ma.
“Call me Kaiser.”
Posted on : 23-05-2010 | By : Justin Dade | In : Chapter 10, The Tale
Tags: Chapter 10
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Stephen/Kaiser added a little femininity to his walk this time, trying to emulate a woman’s sashay. He quickly returned carrying the three-muzzled harnesses that I had wanted. All of the balls were pink.
“Here you go. Um . . . if it would make a difference, I can make myself look like a woman . . . ”
“You are very persistent.”
“I like what I see.”
Maybe I should practice and perfect my techniques on this unsuspecting soul. I’m sure he’d be more than willing to let me use these restraints.
“Well?”
This is so tempting.
“I suck a mean dick!”
Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. You’re flirting with death.
“Your offer is pretty tempting.”
“A good blow job always is.”
The beast within roared with excitement at the possibility of consuming this vile being. The argument it was using to persuade me regarded the world being better off less one fag. My inner control used to contain was showing some cracks.
“I could give you a little sample if you stick around till closing.”
His lust was blinding him to a possible future consisting of intense pain and suffering.
“As a matter of fact, I could throw those two out. They’ve been doing nothing but looking at the mag’s for free. I could lock the door, and pull the shade, and there’ll be just you and me locked safely in private. Even open a toy or two if you’d like . . . ”
If I didn’t end this now, the beast would have his way with this helpless mortal. Its blood lust was surging through my being, increasing the hunger it longed for.
Not yet!
I don’t want to dampen its appetite with innocence. There was no justification in taming it. The beast will have to wait.
“Maybe another time, Stephen.”
“Call me Kaiser.”
“Sure thing, Kaiser.”
I expected disappointment, but instead he just brushed off the rejection, going around the counter to tally my purchase.
“This is everything?”
“For now. If I think of anything else, I’ll be back.”
“I hope it’s soon . . . “
I handed him the VISA card.
“This alright?”
“Of course. Listen, I’m going to give you my employee’s discount. A little encouragement to come back.”
“Thank you, Kaiser.”
“Anytime, Justin.”
As I left the store with my new toys, I realized that this was Kaiser’s lucky day.
“The eeny-meeny-miney-mo one?”
Posted on : 22-05-2010 | By : Justin Dade | In : Chapter 10, The Tale
Tags: Chapter 10
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Following in the direction of the pointed finger, I found the wall-mounted display of bondage devices. The one that he had suggested was perfect for my needs. Four inch long cuffs, adjustable with two one-inch straps to prevent release. The long braided black rope attached by a stainless steel O-ring was just unnecessary dressing for the purpose the restraints would be used for. I grabbed six boxes, each containing a pair, and headed back toward the helpful clerk.
“That’s gonna be some party, huh?”
“Excuse me?”
“The amount of restraints you’re getting?”
“Oh.”
“Are you sure there’s no room for one more?”
“Sorry.”
“Oh well. What else do you desire?”
“Would you happen to have something resembling a weight belt, something that would restrain the torso?”
“A new item! A batch just came in, and I haven’t had the chance to display them yet. Wanna see one?”
“Sure.”
This admitted bisexual was a bit eager for my tastes. If I were to reveal my true intentions, he’d certainly be offended.
“Keep an eye on things. I’ll be right back.”
His confidence in me was astounding. The clean-shaven young man jauntily walked away, heading toward a back room where the stock must have been kept.
One of the two remaining patrons observed his candid exit, eyeing the store for anyone watching, no doubt intent on making off with free merchandise. The seedy character made eye contact with me, quickly abandoning his planned escape. I just had to chuckle.
When the salesclerk returned, he was carrying several of the restraints I wanted to view. I couldn’t discern whether the accumulating sale, or the remote possibility of an inclusion to my little party thrilled him. He stayed on my side of the counter, saucily displaying the requested items.
“Here they are! What do ya think?”
“They’re perfect!”
“Yeah, they do offer a measure of control. You’re choosing more of a bondage motif . . . are you sure your friends are into that?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, bondage is all about control, whereas S&M, sadomasochism, is about the giving and receiving of pain, the pleasure a giver or receiver gets from it.”
“Oh, in that case, this stuff’ll do just fine.”
“Good. I wouldn’t want to have to refund all this stuff. Do you know our policy?”
“Yeah. It’s clearly stated on that sign over there.”
“Alright. How many belts would you like?”
“Three.”
“Okay. Each comes equipped with a rope, like the cuff restraints, to allow movement of the bonded.”
“I am sure they will perform like you say.”
His eyes openly scoped my body, first downward, then returning upward, invitingly flirtatious.
“You’re a good looking guy. Uh . . . “
“Justin, and thank you.”
“I couldn’t interest you in a little . . . “
“My wife wouldn’t appreciate that, but thanks for the offer.”
“If you change your mind . . . “
“I won’t.”
“I understand. Anything else?”
“Now that you mention it, there is. Have you ever seen ‘Pulp Fiction’?”
“Everyone has!”
“Do you remember that scene with Bruce Willis and Ving Rhames?”
“The eeny-meeny-miney-mo one?”
“Yeah.”
“What about it?”
“Would you happen to have those ball things that harnessed their mouths?”
“Exact replicas.”
“I’ll take three of them.”
“What color balls?”
“Surprise me.”
“I’d like to.”
“Aren’t you afraid of offending me?”
“There’s no shame in my game! My name is Stephen, by the way. Friends call me Kaiser.”
“Why?”
“Do you want to find out?”
“I’m tempted, but, I’ll have to pass.”
“Suit yourself. Give me a minute, and I’ll go get your balls for you.”
This guy is a character! He’s too full of humor to be offensive. I like him. But, not in that kind of way.
“Something like that.”
Posted on : 21-05-2010 | By : Justin Dade | In : Chapter 10, The Tale
Tags: Chapter 10
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The darkness I sought earlier was snugly blanketed across the night’s sky. A sliver of moon was present, continuing its never-ending cycle affecting tides and people alike. Stars that long ago lost their light sent a reminder of what they once were upon the Earth. A spring night’s chill frustrated those who enjoyed the day’s warmth, causing most of the traveling vehicles to keep their windows in the upright position. Illumination from tall light posts aided headlamps in presenting clear vision for what lied ahead.
Approaching the Vets Highway exit, I engaged my right turn signal and waited for an opportunity to change lanes. Accepting the kindness of a fellow traveler, the Accord crossed the dashed line that provided guidance for organized movement. Leaving the turn signal flashing, I slowed my speed and guided into the off ramp of the highway. Accelerating slightly, the robust Honda easily merged with the oncoming traffic of the north service road. Quickly gaining the right lane led me to the entrance of my destination.
Profiting from a billion-dollar industry, the sex shop I chose resided in an isolated area, away from other businesses and residential homes, avoiding an assault of complaints that would otherwise come. The short front lot was full, so I grabbed a spot in the lot to the left of the brick-faced building. Exiting and locking the Accord left me free to walk toward the entrance doors around front. Passing the door to the adult video half of the building, I came to the glass front door of the novelty section.
Don’t ask me why, but a specific Nine Inch Nails tune came to mind as I crossed the threshold into the sex-theme store. A glass-case counter greeted me, displaying all of its erotic eccentricities, fronting an unenthusiastic salesclerk nearing the end of his shift. The man’s attention was on an openly displayed copy of the current Maxim magazine. The surrounding walls and display shelving held various toys, magazines and clothing to whet any fetishistic appetite there was. Mine consisted of some S&M.
Approaching a display of dildos and latex vaginas, I quickly surveyed the room, observing just two other patrons equally attentive to their own devices. Unable to delay my quest any longer, I went to the sales counter to initiate my inquiry.
“Excuse me.”
“How ya doing?”
“I’m alright. Yourself?”
“I’ll be better in about an hour. What can I help you with?”
“My wife and I are having a few friends over, and they’re into the S&M lifestyle. I was wondering if you had some of the items associated with that kind of thing?”
“Throwing a party?”
“Something like that.”
“Need an extra? I swing both ways?”
“I appreciate your offer, but the house is full.”
“Story of my life!”
“I hear you.”
“Anything specific you have in mind?”
“Yeah. First off, I wanted some of those restraints for ankles and wrists.”
“Kinky!”
“Something like that.”
“Against that wall over there, you’ll find a couple of choices to choose from. I’d suggest the thick leather ones with the fur lining, they add a little comfort. And, the ropes have enough length to allow movement for positioning and stuff.”
“Be right back.”






















































